The Demonics Host an Unwanted Visitor

Last night, the Demonic family hosted a most unwanted visitor:
A squirrel.
People who know me know I hate squirrels with a passion. I don’t want them in my neighborhood, much less in my house. I see them as glorified rodents, rats with big fluffy tails. I don’t like rats in the house either, which is why [...]

Damned Squirrels

I went to the Strybing Arboretum yesterday and a pack of damned squirrels followed me around.

They’re absolutely fearless. They come right up to your pant legs and start pulling on them. The beggars.
You can’t feed them (supposedly, there are signs warning against it) and I didn’t have any food on me at all, not even [...]

Defining Moments in the War Against the Squirrels

I despise squirrels.
There. I’ve said it. For those of you who don’t know me well or think I am joking, well, step back. If you’re a card carrying member of PETA, look out.
I must admit, I do like most animals. I like my cat, Maxx Attaxx. He’s mental, spastic, and bites hard, but is endearing [...]

Winning the Strawberry Wars Against the Squirrels

Two years ago, I planted a bed of strawberries at the back of the yard. I have a very nice terraced far back yard, where I grow vegetables and wine grapes. It’s quite large. Before we moved here, that area was a jungle of obnoxious plants clinging to boulders that were bigger than my head. [...]