We Haven’t Had Sex in Bed for Months

As most people who have been with a partner for longer than a couple of months knows, the intensity of emotions in a relationship can ebb and flow. The same can be said for sex, or what I like to refer to as “making love.” (Sex sounds too clinical, or maybe it sounds too automatic. Fucking sounds detached and animalistic. Not that I haven’t had sex or fucked. These days I try to keep my physical interactions specifically as “making love.”)

My husband and I have been together ten times longer than Britney Spears and K Fed. There’s been a lot of ebbing and flowing over the years. If you think that sex wanes as one grows older, you would be very, very wrong. If you have been with the same person who is both physically attractive and interesting as a human being, the likelihood of that person being physically attractive to you after more than twenty years is highly probable.

Since summer, my husband and I haven’t had sex in our bed. The bed has one of those super-comfortable, and I love the smoothness of Egyptian sheets and the coziness of cotton comforters. Our pillows are down-filled and are like sleeping on clouds. My bedroom is more like one you’d find in a high-end hotel. It’s large, roomy. The bedroom is situated at the back of the house, so we hear no car noises, kid noises, or neighborhood lawnmowers and snowblowers.

Lack of sex in the marital bed does not, however, mean a lack of sex.

Since June, we’ve been getting up early and meeting at our office for sex before everyone else gets there.

It’s not far from the house, but there’s no bed there. The chairs are not conducive to doing it. His desk is so cluttered, he can’t throw me down on it like he used to. Still, we’ve made love there at least four times a week.

There is a downside. The bed is now too unfamiliar to make love in. Most nights, as soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light. Anyway, it doesn’t feel right. Now I feel strangely odd if he tries to initiate anything while on it, and usually I won’t comply.

I’d rather wait for the morning, when I can make love in an office.


12 Responses

  1. That explains why working with one’s sweetie would be a good thing. I’m thinking that my office might not be such a great place for it though. Maybe I can get a demotion and have a cubicle and become an exhibitionist and such a thing will be fun for me.

    I’m in favour of doing it on the washing machine. But, the cat litter box is near the washing machine so…that’s out too. Oh well. I guess we’ll just stick to the bed for a while.

  2. Litterboxes are bad. Washing machines are good. Cubicles are good, if no one else is there. I’m not an exhibitionist, but some people get into it.

  3. I’m thinking for now, we’ll just keep to the bed though I think the shower might become a favourite place in the near future.

  4. Showers are VERY good! You can clean off immediately afterward! Good idea…

  5. I hate you ALL!

  6. Goodness.

  7. Try it, Wanda. You might like it.

  8. Many moons ago, when I was limber enough, a favorite place was in the car on a side street off of Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles. I think it was a favorite because there was always the chance of getting caught, and my partner really liked it too. But that was in another lifetime. I almost don’t remember sex.

  9. If it is possible to say that I hated some aspect of sex, I would have to say, I hated car sex. I mainly hated it because it was so inconvenient. I didn’t get a thrill from the possibility of getting caught. I didn’t get a thrill from the actuality of getting caught either.

    I remember trying it in various places outdoors and getting a mosquito bite in a particularly sensitive place.

    I favour comfort now. Maybe that’s just ’cause I’m old. I do remember swing sets quite fondly. Maybe I should order a butterfly swing. I’m not sure how I’d explain it to the kids though.

  10. Definitely leave the kids in the dark on the butterfly swing. They’ll just say, ewww…

  11. […] We Haven’t Had Sex in Bed for Months « Pandemonic’s Time & Space […]

  12. […] perpetually cut off, I decided to take matters into my own hands. For those of you who are unaware, THIS POST explains that my husband and I don’t really have sex in the marital bed. We usually have sex […]

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