My Internet Girlfriends

Yesterday, I wrote a post about my internet boyfriend. I’d been meaning to do that for a long while, because I felt the compelling urge to explain the situation. In other places, I have penned rather poorly written poetry and other such nonsense singing his praises. These lame outpourings did not really address my true feelings adequately.

Today, I will discuss my internet girlfriends. I actually have a lot more of internet girlfriends than I do male internet friends. 

The first group of internet girlfriends I found in an AOL chatroom in 1998. At the time, we were all mothers of young children looking for beanie babies. This was at the height of the beanie baby craze, and at first we exchanged ideas on how to score. We traded, and then I found out smuggling them from Canada was profitable. The group had over 26 members in the beginning, and over the years, we have lost most of them. It’s now down to a more manageable eight members. I’ve met three, with four to go.

Over the last nine years, we’ve shared our concerns with our children. Some are brilliant, and some have had learning problems. Most are college-aged or close to it now. We’ve gone through marriages, divorces, boyfriends, and another marriage. We’ve shared in home remodeling, recipes and yard tips. We’ve lived through the Columbine shooting (one lives in Littleton), and September 11th (one was once a broker working in one of the Towers, and so knew many people who died that day, the other’s neighbor was one of the pilots of the plane downed in Pennsylvania). There have been deaths of parents and family members. Through it all, we’ve been supportive.

At one time, we lobbied Oprah to put us on her show. Oprah has ignored our pleas. I guess it’s not important enough for her.

My more recent internet girlfriends were met through common interests on another site. Through discussions, we’ve found that we shared other passions and pasttimes. I’ve met several of those girls “in the flesh” and all have been sweet, smart and interesting to be with. While our relationships haven’t been very long in duration of time, they’ve been fulfilling in other, deeper ways.

What I find most interesting about meeting my internet girlfriends in the real world is that we bond and react as though we’ve known each other forever. I met a couple of them in Las Vegas once, and we all dragged our kids to the restaurant for our first meeting. My kids thought it was completely strange that we would be laughing and joking as though we were old friends. The little ones took a liking to my son, who was just becoming a teenager. They hugged him around his legs, and looked like little people ornaments attached to his thighs.

I’ve recently met a couple of women in California, and both are thoughtful, intelligent and strong women. Again, the familiarity was comfortable. I could honestly say, “I know you!” Meeting these special people is like looking into a mirror and seeing your true friend.

In some ways, it doesn’t seem strange to befriend people this way. The internet is the new community. It’s the new town and the new world. I’m a half a world away from the physical communities where I grew up, detached by miles of land from my family members. My internet girlfriends give me the gifts of their strength, their humanity and their creativity.

14 Responses

  1. I absolutely agree! The first internet girlfriend I met I ran up 2 flights of stairs (you’d have to know how bad my knees and ankles are to know what that really means) and “hugged the stuffings out of her”. We didn’t get to spend a lot of time together, but what time we did, we spent head to head whispering like we’d been sharing secrets all our lives.

  2. I know someone who wrote a similar article recently Pan. May I call you Pan?

  3. I know what you mean. Some Internet Girlfriends are there for you to pour out your heart and sit and listen to you til their butt hurts! ; )

    I’ve met a number of women in the flesh that I originally knew only online. I’ve never been disappointed and can honestly say that I feel we’ll be friends for a long time.

    I am glad you have Internet Girlfriends. I think everyone should!

  4. Yes, I prefer to be called Pan. And I really appreciate all of my internet girlfriends.

  5. Hey wow! I know someone who wrote a similar article too.

    I’ve met a few people who were a bit disappointing. Then again, maybe they though I was disappointing too.

    I don’t like this change in my appearance. I think I’ll change to something else real soon now.

  6. Just so you know…

    I have a hearing problem so I leave the volume really high on my computer. My AIM is running constantly. That’s how my kids keep in touch with me and I want to be able to hear the IM if and when it comes.

    Imagine this: Four A.M. and I can’t sleep so I turn to the laptop next to me in bed and begin reading blogs. I come to your blog and I get blasted with classical music! This woke my daughter up and she came to my room to tell me to keep it down. But in my confused, sleep deprived state, I couldn’t figure out how to turn the volume off and by then the other daughter had wakened and was also in my room yelling at me to turn it off!

    See, you permeate lives where you least expect it.

  7. I’m so sorry, Corina! I have to listen to it a lot, I find it soothing. But if your daughters are like mine, they are soothed by rap and techno!

  8. My girls are into alternative rock. None of my three have ever been into rap or techno, thank god!

  9. So far, mine like The Grateful Dead. I can’t really complain about that. 🙂

  10. I only wish my children could appreciate the music of the flower children! When I listen to the Dead, they think I’m having a flashback.

  11. My 9-year-old liks the Grateful Dead.

  12. I have an Internet girlfriend. I would sing her praises, and say that she is the coolest person I have met (although we haven’t met) in as long as I remember… but she’d probably read this comment and rib me mercilessly.

  13. I was talking to some young people about stuff like this. They thought it was completely normal — a given. I think it is mostly just a bunch of other people our age who don’t get it.

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