The Toxic Weekend

I try not to spend every weekend working. All work and no play makes for a sad and exhausted puppy.

This weekend was spent at my daughter’s school auction.

My daughter is now a senior in high school, so this will be the last auction we will attend. Every year since the kids were small, I have been enlisted to add my talents; namely to produce the auction catalog. Every year, the parent names and faces change, but the situation remains the same. My  job is to get information from one source, pretty it up with my computer, and send the finished product to the parent who owns a printing company. Many times, this isn’t as easy as it may appear to be. I’m very organized and to-the-point, so I have very little patience with those who are not. Many parents use working on the auction committee as a way to chit-chat and make friends. I have friends, and in order to keep my life orderly, I also have a schedule.

School functions, on the whole, tend to be tedious affairs. However, auctions, even though the purpose is blatant fundraising, are usually quite festive. Everyone dresses up in their best, and the people who attend are looking for bargain items. This year’s theme was Academy Award related, so the gym was creatively decorated with lots of stars, a red carpet, and students dressed in tuxedos and evening wear.

After fifteen years of  producing auction catalogs and going to auctions, I’ve seen a wide array of venues and menus, ranging from the height of extravagance to the bare-bones minimum. By the time the night arrives, my only wish is to accept my compliments, smile politely and have a good dinner.

This year I was overcome by the deliriousness that this is my final hurrah. I overate heavy food and drank too much “champagne.” As a result, I bid on too many items and won most of them.

I woke up yesterday with a splitting headache and the feeling that I should not have eaten so much roast beef, cold shrimp, teenie-weenies wrapped in bacon and slathered with barbecue sauce, fish, cold meat balls, roast pork, chocolate covered strawberries and heavily marinated olives so quickly in one two-hour period.

Today I woke up and had a craving for plain oatmeal. And I never want to drink again.

It’s time to detox now.

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9 Responses

  1. Been there, done that. (Not the auction, the hangover.)

  2. Ick. That’s probably one of the reasons I don’t drink anymore.

    I can’t be quite sure though because it really just happened instead of being a conscious decision.

  3. LOL. I know the feeling. How was that “champagne” or rather why did you put it in quotes?

  4. The “champagne” was the fake bubbly stuff. As you might know, Scout, only the bubbly made in the method champenoise can be called champagne. I’m thinking my troubles are more the result of way too much fat and protein-the bad, overprocessed kind.

    It felt good to drink green tea all day.

  5. Fundraiser auctions always puzzle me. I mean, doesn’t it cost quite a bit to put the auction on? And if the people donating things simply donated an amount commensurate with the item donated, wouldn’t the same amount of money be made without the expense and work of putting on the event?

    Of course, I’m biased because I hate events such as this.

  6. For some reason, these are wildly popular. They do net a lot of money, but you’re right David. Writing a check would be so much easier. I think auctions are an excuse for some people to get out of the house.

  7. They are wildly popular. Selling crap is wildly popular too. About 10% of the people I try to sell crap to say they’d rather just give money and that way ALL of the money goes to the cause. I tried bringing that up at the PTA but was shot down. Oh well.

  8. They must really want to get out of the house and socialize.

  9. It seems like that but they aren’t unpleasant people and do have friends. I don’t think the need excuses to see one another. I’m just going to chalk it up as one more mysterious thing about people that I don’t understand.

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