Caught in the Act, Sort Of…

Today I woke up a little early. My honey brought coffee up to me while I was still in bed, which is always a treat. It’s so cold in the house, if I don’t have something warm to entice me out of bed, I might just stay there all day.

I drank my one cup down, and proceeded to get ready for the day. Then, as is my custom, I practiced playing my violin for a half hour. I’m not making much progress yet, but since I am planning to live to 109, I have plenty of time left to improve.

Since I awoke before schedule, I had time for – you guessed it – office sex. Hey! We own the business, we should be able to do whatever, whenever. Luckily, our office is not far from the house, and I barely get chilled on the way.

Usually I start the festivities off with something unromantic. “Take off your clothes!” breaks the ice nicely. Then we trip over (literally) piles of crap which lays in wait like booby traps all over the floor. There’s a small conference area with a leather loveseat and table adjoining his office. We usually have thirty minutes or so before the first person might walk in.

Today, I forgot to lock the front door. Well, my husband said, “This will be quick,” so I took him at his word.

“This” was also loud. The moaning was not coming from me, but from him. We rent some of the space out, and everyone and their cousin has a key. Besides, the walls and doors are paper thin. I know better than to let loose.

As we were finishing up, we heard a door slam. Oh, no! It was a mad dash to dress. I stayed in the conference room, while he went out to see who it was knocking about the office.

It turned out to be one of our employees. An employee who is a devout churchgoer. One who is as honest and straight as you could find. My husband had a hard time keeping a straight face.

Now I know I have to lock the door every time.

13 Responses

  1. Hilarious!

    It is too bad you didn’t get to see the catcher’s face.

    I have a wording question: booby traps?

    I guess that isn’t a question. I used a question mark though.

    And, I hear you on the not letting loose. Even at home we’ve always had somebody (roomies or kids or both or paper thin apartment walls) to hear so … .

  2. “Booby trapped” as in an Army term. It’s like maneuvering through an area laden with land mines. Hmmm… I should take a photo, because it’s unbelievably messy.

  3. Interesting. Thought of office sex is usually associated with an affair. Very nice to read about married sex in the office. How do you mask that odor of sex?

  4. Lots of handy wipes for the chair, and Febreze. I swear by that product.

  5. I love this. Well done, and a great romantic opener (“Take off your clothes”). Do you use the unscented Febreze, or the nice fruity-scented one? I also carry little mini packages of wet naps in my purse, although I hadn’t thought of them as an accessory to office sex. 🙂

  6. P-Mousse, a person cannot be overarmed in the case of a chance sexual encounter, even if it IS with your own spouse. If I were a smarter woman, I’d probably have spare panties stashed away as well. And yes, I use unscented Febreze.

  7. My office life is so boring.

  8. Damn.

  9. Now that you’ve established the precedent, remember that if any of your employees are ever caught in the act, you’ll have to not be too rough on them!

    I don’t know if I will ever be able to use Febreze without thinking of you two!

  10. I have never had office sex. I share an office with three other people. I guess we could sneak in in the middle of the night. But then, the office also has a big window in the door, and other crazy grad students are often about at all hours of the night. Perhaps if we had office sex under the desk. But C is 6’4″, so that might be a challenge. Hmmmm. I don’t know what to do about this situation.

  11. There are always closets, teaspoon.

  12. Gasp! No! You didn’t?!

  13. […] other reason? The employee who busted us the last time has been conspicuously hanging around in the hour before we officially open for business. My […]

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