NO Sex Musings

Putting my back out came at a horrible time in my life.

This is the time of life when I am the horniest. Don’t let anyone sell you the notion that menopause is the end of the world. It’s the beginning of fresh adventures untold.

I suppose I could call my gal pal who sells toys for the bedroom. She has asked me several times why I won’t buy from her. I am one who is constantly toy-less. I don’t need sex toys, not yet anyway. I’m still in the honeymoon stage, when I can amuse myself with mere thoughts. (In my twenties, I was orgasmic just watching R rated movies in theatres. There’s still steam in this little engine.)

I am well enough to walk today, well, as best as I could being hunched over at 73 degrees. I am, however, highly perturbed that any arching of my back leaves me in severe pain. I’m with 99% of humans who don’t want to equate pain with pleasure.

This leaves the problem of boudoir gymnastics. I informed my husband that he would have to do all the work. To this, he lifted one eyebrow and looked at me with bemusement. “I already do all the work!” he emphatically replied.

Well, yes, he is right… I’m one spoiled spouse.

Hmm… I may have to jump him anyway. I wonder if I can lure him back to the house for a rousing round of afternoon delight?

9 Responses

  1. Lifting one eyebrow!

    I wish I knew how to do that. Whenever I try, instead of lifting one eyebrow I instead make a face that looks like I am both confused and constipated.

    There will be plumbers in my house today. I bet it won’t be Wednesday is the next time I’ll have afternoon delight. I wish you good luck in your afternoon endeavours.

  2. We have a very nice shop about a mile from our house thats sells sexy underthings, and “marital aides”, they can be quite fun. Good luck with the afternoon delight.

  3. It’s not afternoon yet! Maybe I should use the ploy of, honey, the basement is flooded! I wonder if that will work.

  4. It is afternoon now.

    I’m not home. Hmmph. I have a meeting to go to. Double hmmph.

  5. Nothing happened. I must not have turned on all of my charm. I probably forgot to turn on any of it!

  6. I skipped my meeting. I had a sandwich.

    They forgot to put a napkin in the bag! I had subway goo all over my fingers and had to wander about searching for a napkin. Fortunately, I found one promptly.

    Right now, I want to go home. I’m going to wait 23 minutes though. Maybe I can start packing things up now.

  7. Hubby was gone for several days over the holiday weekend. He came home and we did it like bunnies. I personally find menopause to be interesting. We can have amazing, heterosexual love making, yet we can both grow moustaches.

  8. Oh Suzy… I’m not at the moustache growing stage yet. That would be very interesting!

  9. This reminds me of how it sucks to be 40 minutes away from my significant other, in the next town up the road.

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