Snow Golf and Speaking of Tiger

MIB made a comment on one of my posts regarding playing golf in the snow. By what I wrote, he thought that my husband was going to play golf in the snow. In fact, my husband was only going watch golf on TV. Then MIB made the comment that watching golf was rather boring.

That, I cannot disagree with. I despise watching golf on TV. Actually, I despise watching any sports on TV. It’s more fun to play than it is to watch, even if you’re a horrible athlete like me. The main reason I despise TV golf is that the networks tend to concentrate on the leaders, who are all superstars who never make mistakes and always golf like God. They never show the guy who just barely made it into the tournament, unless that guy is Tiger Woods. My husband has had a Tiger fascination ever since the guy started playing professionally. (His number two guy is Phil Mickelson. I can’t stand that guy. He chokes.) We’ve been to tournaments where they’ve played, and “chased the Tiger.” That feat in itself is something of an Olympic event. You have to position yourself somewhere where you won’t be trampled by the thousands of other fans, and yet get a good glimpse of him. Usually, this is done by going about 300 yards from the tee box and hoping that Tiger’s ball will bounce in front of you. Then as soon as he makes his second shot, you run up to the middle of the next fairway and mark off your territory before he gets there.

I like Tiger, but for different reasons. I’ve always thought he was a terribly handsome man. I like that combination of Asian and African American, as it makes him look exotic. Tiger has very kind eyes, and a body shape that I enjoy, long, lanky, and thin. Both my husband and my son are built like Tiger, only a bit less muscular, which is probably why both are better than decent golfers. Yes, I wouldn’t mind a Tiger in bed with me, but only as comfort and heat.

Now to golfing in the snow: I was thinking that there are really people who DO golf in the snow. They use light pink balls that won’t sink in the snow. These people are crazy. I won’t golf unless the temperature is moderate and it definitely can’t be raining, much less snowing. If there is a beverage cart that serves bloody Marys and snacks, all the better. My husband has golfed in rainstorms and thundershowers. I’m surprised he hasn’t been hit by lightning yet.

One Easter, we were on vacation up north and my husband and son decided to go golfing. It was about 45 degrees; too cold for me. I dropped them off, and my daughter and I decided to go shopping. The temperature at the mall was more my style. Anyway, within the three hours they were out, the skies grew gray and the temperature fell. They continued to golf. Finally, it started snowing a bit. By the time they were on the 18th hole,  a light blanket of snow covered everything and as they went to putt, the balls picked the snow up. By the time the balls reached the cup, they were about the size of softballs. Both of them got a tremendous kick out of the fact that their balls couldn’t even fit into the hole.

They never did golf in the snow again, but it made for a good story while drinking hot chocolate.

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17 Responses

  1. […] just read a post by MIL. As I’ve mentioned, I could have commented. I could have emailed. I probably will very […]

  2. Just thinking about golf makes me drowsy. The last time it was being watched here on T.V. I suggested that if they jazzed up the commentary, they could get a whole new group of viewers.

  3. Cute clothes would be a plus.

  4. Exactly! That’s the whole problem with sports.

    No. It isn’t the whole problem. The whole competition thing and points is goofy.

    Figure skating is good. It isn’t really a sport though.

    Ooooh. Did you see that movie. Oh. Man. Oh. Man. I wish I could remember the name. Blades of Steel? Probably. Yeah. I know, I’m on the net right now and I could search. I’m not ThirdCultureMom though so I’m not brilliant at searching.

    I think I did sort of indicate that I adore you by writing the post that links to here. But, I didn’t say it directly. I’d apologize but I know there’s no need. There’s a better thing to do. I can simply fix the problem here and now.

    I adore you.

  5. Please read my email, BGG.

    Yes, I saw Blades of Steel. It was hilarious. Figure skating is not really a sport, although the clothes are pretty.

    Women’s golf has particularly ugly clothes. This is why my daughter will have nothing to do with it. Her complaint is that she doesn’t want to look like she has a big butt. Although, there are up and coming women golfers who are damned cute.

  6. I frequently tell people that I like cold better because there are more fun things to do to get warm than there are to cool off, and you can do lots of them in public.

    Golf isn’t one of them.

    I have to confess here that despite never having golfed in my life, occasionally, when I do something really well, I will say VERY QUIETLY, “I am Tiger Woods…”

  7. I would watch golf a lot more often if they wore tutus.

  8. Tiger in a tutu? Blasphemous! Red is his color. And he’d better keep his trousers on too. I can’t imagine him in golf shorts or knickers.

  9. “!#$&!” That’s what I think of golf! My ex used to play it about every moment that he wasn’t at the office or asleep.

  10. How about kilts?

  11. I like John Daly, he’s my kind of golfer- he just gets drunk and says “screw it”

    Now, some of those women golfers are hot, sadly, they aren’t attracted to men. sigh

  12. Really, jojo? Even the cute ones? What a shame!

  13. I’m with you and would much rather shop than golf.

  14. I got my dad a glow in the dark golf ball once, hoping he’d take the hint and give my mom a few evenings alone at home.

  15. I read it ages ago. I replied to some of it. You already know that. I just didn’t want other people to think I was ignoring you.

    Hah! There I go caring what other people think.

    I’d rather shop than golf too. I think I’m having some gender identity issues. Or maybe I’m just not insane.

    I like the idea of a glow in the dark golf ball. I wouldn’t use it to play golf though. I think I’d give it to the cats that live near me.

  16. I’ve played golf in the dark before, on a course I’d never been on. A glow in the dark golf ball would have saved the day. By the end of the round, we were playing with each other’s balls.

    Hmm… that doesn’t sound right, but it’s what happened and I’m sticking to it.

  17. Pan, glow in the dark balls? Awesome. Now, why didn’t God think of that!

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