The Sting of Rejection Fades With An Acceptance

Actually, that should read “the sting of two rejections fades with an acceptance” because the day after the first college rejection letter, my daughter received another rejection from another college.

She’s a master at administering the guilt. After the second rejection, she informed me that she was too stupid for school and now she was going to be a hooker or a stripper. Then she laid the blame on me for poor parenting in that I didn’t get her learning disability checked out in time. (She forgot how she vehemently didn’t want to get tested all through junior high school, even though I had a feeling something wasn’t right with her reading ability.) Of course, it’s always the parent’s fault. I probably ruined her entire life by not drinking milk during my pregnancy with her. (I am lactose intolerant.)

Then the following day, she received a phone call from a university in Carlsbad, California. I took the call, and it was late at night. The caller wasn’t aware of the time difference. I took the message and relayed it to my daughter the next day, telling her to call as soon as possible.

She was ridden with anxiety, wanting to know what the phone call was all about, yet afraid to know what the phone call was about. She called twice from the office, the first time slamming the phone down when voice mail came on. I told her to leave a message! What? This wasn’t an adult way to deal with college! Finally, she overcame her fear and did leave a message.

At home later that night, the woman called again. This time, I refereed the phone call and asked what she wanted. She was quite helpful and asked about my daughter, her age, when she would be out of high school and when she would be thinking about starting.

This is a different kind of university (National University), which is geared more to adult learners who are working full time. Much of the course work is done online. It’s fully accredited, but doesn’t exactly offer the traditional college experience. Only one fourth of the students are her age. There are no dorms, but several centers in southern California. However, they will take anyone with her low average, and are not even looking at her college test scores.

An acceptance is an acceptance. I needed her to have at least one so that she wouldn’t feel completely defeated. The day before this came, I was ready with my speech on how there was no shame if you get a good job right out of high school. She would have to be self motivated to attend this school, but maybe it will be a good fit for her.

I called her and told her she was accepted, and she finally perked up from her depression. “Sweet!” she screamed from her cell phone.

Now for the other letters… we can wait on those.

10 Responses

  1. That’s good to hear. Having spent some time in a dorm, I can say that if anyone has anything positive to say about them, they are overrating them.

  2. quote: “She’s a master at administering the guilt.”

    I hope you’re not allowing yourself to feel guilty. Funny how your kids can suck the life out of you sometimes, eh?

  3. I’m glad she got the boost she needed. Email me if you want to know about National University (I am a former student). If you don’t want to know, skip it. You’ll find out.

  4. I’m glad she got accepted, but I hurt for the way she’s attacking you. As the mother of 2 adult daughters, I hate to tell you that the attacks will continue, off and on, throughout their lives.

  5. yeah, I’m pretty sure ANYONE who puts themselves out there is gonna be rejected. My first letter back was a rejection, but then i realized that place was a poor fit for me anyways, so it all worked out.

  6. Believe me, I am the guilt-less ridden mother. I know I did the best I could, and I’ve done better than many other mothers I know. She’s just spouting.

    Corina, I will be emailing you soon! I do want to know!

  7. I was rejected by a University because they had two application files. One was labeled “Bobby GRUFF!” and the other was labeled “B. GRUFF!” No other GRUFF!s applied so the files were right next to each other. But, both files were incomplete. On realizing their error (because I pointed it out having two rejection letters), they rectified things but it was too late for them.

  8. I’m glad she got the boost she needed.

    Has she considered doing her first two years at a Junior College and transfering?

  9. It is funny that I didn’t think of that.

    The tuition at colleges is often less than at full universities.

  10. Oh, that’s so nice. Congratulations to your daughter.

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