Inquiring Minds Are A-buzz Today

In case you wanted to know, yes, I do smell good. In fact, I think I smell really good. “Smelling good” isn’t something one can achieve overnight or by wishful thinking. No, this is something one must do thoughtfully and it takes time to evaluate the different fragrance reactions of purchased scents to your own natural scent. I believe that I’ve mastered the art of odor and have trapeezed the fine line between smelling good and overdoing it.

In today’s world, there is absolutely no reason for a human being to smell like butt. The mass marketers have a cornucopia of aural delights available for your perusal. I’ve decided that if a person smells like stinky dog doo, he or she is making a political statement. Even if you don’t want to smell like anything, you can go to the store and get deodorant/antiperspirant with an absence of scent. I hope you butt-smellers catch the hint and make your way to the local RiteAid ASAP.

First of all, in order for the perfect ambrosial connection, one must decide which odors match with your own persona. I’ve always had a love of natural scents which have now fallen into the aromatherapy category. These include sandalwood, patchouli and lavender, you know, the smells that were popular back in the late 60s and early 70s with the hippie generation. Since I matured during that time, I guess that’s why I feel a connection. Plus, burning it as incense tended to cover up the smell of another herb, if you catch my drift.

I also look for the same gentle scents for my shampoo. I don’t care for the manufactured scents of some of the major players. After washing away, they tend to smell more like chemicals and less like a garden of earthly delights. I tend to nose around a bit (no pun intended) and look at labels for natural ingredients.

As for my perfumed self, I have an affinity for Carolina Herrera (the original scent launched in 1988). I spray on one wrist and rub on the other and lightly spray cleavage only. One doesn’t need to overpower the world with cologne. There’s nothing worse than to be gassed by an overabundance of scent. Misuse of scent leads to aggravation; gross misuse of scent leads to nausea and vomiting. The best method is to apply enough so that just a touch of lingering sachet drifts in the airspace around you like a wafting cloud just as you pass by signifying the mark of the perfect angel you are.

I find that sandalwood shampoo and body wash and Carolina Herrera create the perfect one-two combo. Each scent complements the other, and are not duking it out for attention. Likewise, if you use other hair care products, make sure that the scent will work with the rest of your arsenal of essences.

*sigh* I certainly wish my internet boyfriend could be around in the flesh to smell my wondrousness. I hope he can conjure an appropriate facsimile in his head. I mean, once he’s gotten rid of all his snot. What’s the use if he’s a victim of blocked nasal passages?

But that’s yet another story…

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9 Responses

  1. Even I smell better after just reading this. I can’t imagine how delicious you must be in person.

  2. Better than chocolates and fine wine, David.

  3. Ooooh! I laughed. In today’s world, there is absolutely no reason for a human being to smell like butt.

    And I sighed. My nose is still a little runny. Imagining your smell is far better than anything I can do. I think I’m going to start believing in reincarnation so that we can be together physically in our next lives.

  4. Patchouli! I haven’t had a bottle of patchouli oil in a gazillion years! I still love it. I’ll have to get some one day, soon. I just have to go some place that sells it!

  5. I know, Corina. I love that smell. I could be that I had a boyfriend way back in the day who wore patchouli. He was way cute, too.

  6. I’m going to have to go find Caroline Herrera scent, just so I can really know what this post should smell like.

  7. I wish they had smell-o-internet. Wouldn’t that be cool?

  8. I worked with a rather large fellow that smelled quite pungent most of the time. One day in the shop a tech reamarked about the strange odor, likening it to a wet dog. I replied, “no, it’s more like wet ass”. So now, if anything smells bad- it’s “wet ass”.

  9. We should hire you to give lessons at the BECG.

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