Plans to Help Wanda Snag Orlando Hit Minor Glitch(es)

Well, after a volley of email between me and the infamous Wanda Rizzuto (, I have (on the back burner) plans to help my BIGF (Best Internet Girl Friend) somehow attract the attention of the great Orlando Bloom.

Unfortunately, my life has been dealt a few minor blows. One of them is the arrival of snow and cold. I despise snow and cold more than the normal person, and when winter comes to town, I get all cranky. My panties are in a twist over the fact that now there is a half inch of ice on my driveway. If there’s one thing I despise more than winter, it’s wearing sensible shoes and walking baby steps to my car. Besides, for part of my Wanda-Orlando Love Match, I need fair weather, and there’s none in the foreseeable future.

I’m also tied up with work, my second job (which my husband calls my money-losing proposition), and trying to get my daughter into college. My son is yelling at me in emails asking (demanding) that I make a copy of a CD of his performance last spring. This is because he’s too cheap to pay $20 for a copy from the school.

This post is to apologize to Wanda. I really have to get on the Orlando case before the Fey Boy flies off to Jolly Old England. Her days of trolling for him on the streets of the Big Apple can be counted on fingers and toes. I really want to be the one responsible for the coup that will be heretofore known (in a book by the same name) “Snagging Orly.” To be followed (sorry Mr. R) by the sequel “Shagging Orly.”

The shameless hussy. Not you, Wanda – no, it’s Orlando. 🙂

11 Responses

  1. What could you possibly be planning that requires good weather? Does it involve my ass?

    I know I should be afraid, but I’m amused and intrigued.

    You’ve earned yourself a pingback.

  2. Ah, the love match of 2008. Without your assistance I think Wanda is destined to be Orlyless.

  3. […] excellent friend Pandemonic has a plan afoot to help me snag Orlando.  Do you see what a great example she’s setting for the rest of you?  What a great friend […]

  4. Maybe she’s arranging for you to babysit him, Sissy. *wide and evil grin*

  5. I’m trying to think of a witty response to your title, but I am sick again and can’t.

  6. No way I can top the cat’s comment. It’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. 😀

  7. **Rolling Eyes**
    These are supposed to be adult women. Intelligent ones at that.
    **Repeats Eye Roll**

  8. Good one, Fluffy! 🙂

    I wish I could publish the email that I sent her, Corina. And I bet you wouldn’t be rolling your eyes if the dude were Richard Gere! Sheesh! Even intelligent women like to have fun!

    And yes, I need good weather. I do believe the “ass” is involved. It’s 11 degrees here, so it won’t be for a while. Maybe I can catch up with the rest of my life before the sun comes out.

  9. Is it going to involve kidnapping? ‘Cause if it does, I want to go ahead and start writing the screenplay early…

  10. Aw shucks Corina! All fun and games, you know? (At least I think it is, I still don’t know what she’s planning).

  11. Don’t do it, Pandemonic! Wanda doesn’t deserve him.

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