Hoping for Hair

Because of my genetic disposition, I’m a person who has never had a lot of hair. Because of my age, I’m finding that I am suffering a case of female pattern baldness.

There are some definite drawbacks to not having a head full of hair. First of all, I can’t use a scrunchy to put my hair into a pony tail. I don’t have enough hair to support a scrunchy. I don’t have enough to put into a barrette or comb, so now I have a drawer full of beautiful hair clips I can’t even use. I’m now relegated to the baby-girl section of the hair care aisle in the local CVS. Believe me, it’s not attractive for a woman of my age to be sporting plastic barrettes in the shape of butterflies.

I long to throw my head back and have a gorgeous mane cascading from the centrifugal force in the breeze behind like ribbons of chocolate satin. I wish I had enough hair to French braid. When I was a hippie back in the olden days, I started wearing my hair in tiny braids lined with beads, before it ever became fashionable to do so. Now, if I were to braid my hair, it would only be as big around as a pencil. I could probably thread a bead through it, no problem.

Lately, I’ve been shopping for wigs and hairpieces, but I don’t want to spend a lot of money. Hairpieces are a definite touchy subject with me. You have to have enough of your own real hair in order to clip one in. I don’t. I don’t think I have lost enough to go all-wig even part of the time.

On the other hand, hair loss means I haven’t shaved my legs in years, and I only shave my underarms once every six months. This is a definite perk. There’s nothing so disgusting as to see a sea of hair waving like a grassy plain on a lady’s legs. (Sorry, although I am partially French, I don’t get the au naturel look.)

What has been happening within the last couple of years is that my pubic area is beginning to bald, and in the most unlikely of places. Instead of my bikini line being bare, it’s the area right in front. I look like I’ve given myself a bad shave in my sleep. I know the trend for young women (and men) these days is to shave that area completely. I don’t get it. The upside to bald pubes is that there aren’t any gray ones to look at and bemoan.

Why am I discussing this? (Besides trying to pump up my readership with the totally odd and wacky post?) Because of this post by my friend. It appears that he has way too much hair, even though he’s approaching my age.

I commented that I would love to have a transplant of that hair, and he thought my comment was funny.

It wasn’t meant to be.

I was serious, Quill.

Now I’m depressed.

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9 Responses

  1. You can have some of my hair if you want Pan.

  2. Thanks. I knew you were a pal. 🙂

  3. Speaking as someone who’s worn her hair very very short for years–there’s worse stuff. 🙂 I remember when I first went short–it was because I had a horrendous haircut. Maybe there’s a change of accoutrement coming your way, Pan? Is it true pattern baldness, or is it alopecia?

  4. Mine has thinned with aging too. Unfortunately that means it’s no longer heavy enough to behave without product.

  5. Jeezum crow I’m sorry. It wasn’t your comment that was funny, and I don’t mean to tease, but the image of my chin whiskers atop your head cracked me up.

    After my spring shearing I toss my winter whiskers outside for the birds to use in their nests. I can save next year’s beard for you if you want but I swear, with a ‘do like that, people are going to mistake you for Don King.

    As for the other hair-loss details you’ve now shared, I’m kind of at a loss for words. On so many levels.

  6. Quill, I think you should save me your leavings. After a few years, I’d have enough for a wig. Ever heard of Locks of Love?

    As for the ‘fro, I used to perm my hair into a shoulder length frizziness. I liked that Carole King look, but don’t carry the gene for curls. I can’t perm anymore. I’m afraid the rest of it would fall out.

    Yeah, I suppose I shouldn’t have shared EVERYTHING, but I’m using this forum for complete honesty. Real life is so much more interesting than fiction. 🙂

  7. Sharing everything is what makes t’interweb so bloody brilliant.

    I bet everyone has something about their body which causes them to worry and which they’d rather change. And if they don’t now, they will as they age.

    I know I do. My skin is a pain in the arse. Not literally… I mean, the actual skin on my arse is fine, its the skin on my face, chest and shoulders which can be a problem. There, now I’ve shared too. 🙂

  8. They make creams for that, Truce. I’ve tried the restorative hair care products and can tell you they didn’t work for me. Rogaine for women? BLAH.

  9. yeah, your reaction to the Rogaine is exactly the same as my reaction to the skin creams… BLAH. They don’t work on me, and I’ve tried ’em all. I did find a prescription cure, but it has proved to be only about 80% effective and temporary. Still, a lot better than it was, so I shouldn’t complain.

    I have no idea what to do about hair loss, other than get yourself a lot of really natty hats. If a hat is good enough for Cameron Diaz, right?! 🙂

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