A Squirrel’s Tail/Tale

One day this spring, I opened the front door to get my morning newspaper.

At either side of my front door are two enormous yew bushes. They are about three feet tall, six feet deep and fifteen feet across. They are positioned under each window. It was probably a landscaping coup back in the 1940s when they were planted, but now they are overgrown. In the spring, I can’t even see out of the windows until they are trimmed. Homeless people could live behind each bush, and I’d never know it. (I’ve seen homeless people living under smaller bushes than mine out in San Francisco, so I know it can be done.)

This space between the bush and house is large enough for a man, but other than that is useless.

This one frosty morning, I happened to glance to the left as I bent over to retrieve my paper. That’s when I saw it.

A squirrel’s tail.

A black squirrel’s tail. It was just laying there right under the window.

How it got there, I don’t know. I didn’t know what happened to the rest of the squirrel. I can only assume that it belongs to the black squirrel with the short stubby tail. The end of his tail is ringed with white hair.

I think this weekend, I will go to the store and gaze longingly at weapons of squirrel ass destruction.

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7 Responses

  1. That’s just weird…a tail but no squirrel…you don’t think squirrels are losing their tails now like men lose their hair? Do we need to worry about this now? Will environmentalist groups call for squirrel tail implants? I think those are butt plugs, aren’t they? I fear I’ve said too much…

  2. You have said too much, but it was funny, so I forgive you. 🙂

    I’m thinking the neighborhood feral cat brought it around. I’d let my own attack kitty outside to kill some squirrels, but he’s an inside cat.

  3. I think it was one of the invisible homeless people living under the bushes. They ate the squirrel but stopped at the tail.

  4. The squirrels in your neighborhood are all chattering to each other about the depredations of Jack the Squirrel Ripper. Stay tuned for the movie, coming soon on the Squirrel Channel on your rodent cable network. Adultly immature audiences only.

  5. I watched two of my mom’s cats catch and eat a squirrel, and I mean, they ate every part of it — skull, innards, little clawed feet — except the tail, which they proceeded to flail around for a while. If you have a couple of cats nearby, the mystery is solved!

  6. That’s what I think, Tigereye. God love those cats! However, I think they are outnumbered in my neighborhood.

  7. I found your posting after looking up info on strange squirrel tails. We have squirrels without tails! They have little stubs. And then we have one that looks like a racoon tail. Go figure.

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