A Brief Post About My Part of a (Secret) Party and Office Help

I attended the much hoo-ha’ed meeting of the internet minds, but only for the day. I would have stayed longer to enjoy all the wonderment that is drunken karaoke, but I had to leave to go back to work TODAY, Sunday. That is because the last girl I hired, nicknamed “ElastiGirl” because that’s exactly who she looked like, flew the coop from the salt mines after only a couple of weeks. She didn’t give a notice and didn’t say goodbye.

Because of ElastiGirl’s hasty absence during the busiest friggin’ time of the year, I have had to place yet another Craigslist ad for office help. After only being gone a mere 10 hours, I opened my inbox to find 150 resumes waiting for me. It’s a rough economy as witnessed by the sheer number of responses this time. This is for a position where I had prominently featured the words “Part Time,” “Evenings” and “Perfect for High School Student” in the title.

After much consternation, I whittled the list down to ten people I might want to meet face to face. (If this is any indication of internet dating, I think I shall remain a lonely old crone should something unexpected happen to Mr. Demonic, otherwise known as the ex-Very Cute Boy.)

With a list of interviews scheduled for tomorrow, I could finally settle in to taking the photos off my camera.

People know I do NOT use my real name here, even though others know my real name and now know my real person. So, in the interest of anonymity, I am keeping some of the identities of the other party-goers incognito.

Here are the photos that I could share:

Nice toes. They belong to me. Nice butt. It belongs to our hostess’ dog.

These belong to a certain pale skinned beauty with lovely red hair. Her pedicure is impeccable.

Now, I can’t mention who these belong to. That’s because the subject is a minor, and I don’t think I have the parents’ written consent to splash her image across the internet. I tried to get a shot of the mother’s, but she kept hiding her feet under her bum. I don’t know why. Her shoes were lovely.

And here was our lovely hostess. (I have a secret for those who want to know. She was only moderately fluffy.)

Our hostess and her nice husband treated us all to lunch. It was delicious. I know this, because I ate everything on my plate, including the pickle. 99 times out of a hundred, I will not even touch the pickle. We then returned to her house, where 95% of us wanted to take a nap. The other 5% was her husband, who appears to be a human dynamo with excellent taste in music. (Amazing Rhythm Aces? I thought I was the only person who bought that album!? I even dug my copy out of the basement when I returned home.)

There was the promise of drunken karaoke last night, but I had to go home to T-H-I-S. Damn, damn, damn. Once home, I found my daughter stricken by a cold. She was limp and pale, and even Red Bull couldn’t revive her. That’s going to be some vacation she’ll have this week. I guess it figures that you would get sick on the first day of vacation.

Anyway, I wish I could have stayed at the party longer. 😦

Thanks, Mimi, for a very nice time!


12 Responses

  1. You’re welcome! You don’t have to be polite and say I was only moderately fluffy. We all know I look like I’ve been washed with lots and lots and lots of Downy.

    I didn’t realize you got the shoe shots!

    We wish you could have stayed longer, too. There are some things that can’t even be captured in video. 😉

  2. gorgeous selection of sandals, there 🙂

  3. I’m only sorry I didn’t get everyone’s feet. It’s a rough job being a feet-arazzi.

  4. You may state for the record that those tiny toes belong to one Janey Rizzuto (not her real name).

    I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t realize you wanted to take a pic of my feet. You should have spoken up! I’ll take one for you later.

  5. It looked like a great party! 😉

  6. Everyone’s feet were neat and clean. That’s a plus.

  7. I was promised to be drunk dialed, and NOTHING I tell you nothing!! I’m glad you had fun, sorry that chickie flaked out on you. We’re flying out tonight…

  8. Now I’m superglad I didn’t come– my feet are NEVER pedicured! They’re ugly and crusty and unpolished. I would have had to hide in a closet in shame.

  9. Or ya coulda kept your shoes on…

  10. I’m not sure but that feet should be down and dirty when you get right down to it.

  11. No way would I have kept my shoes on.

  12. Thanks for the foot tour! I hate wearing shoes. Of course, my numerous incidents with surgeries to remove “foreign objects” from my feet have taught me that I must [almost] always have shoes on.

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