The Cucumber Diet

I’m not sure it will work, but here’s trying.

I’m going on a cucumber diet.

It’s not so much to lose weight, although I could definitely lose a few pounds. Okay, ten to fifteen, that’s more than a few. [Ducking rocks from Ina and Wanda.] I especially want to lose some before I run out of clothes to wear. Mr. Demonic is already in a tizzy over my daughter’s college tuition. (She’s MY daughter when a bill is involved. Funny how that happens.) He would have a conniption if I went out and bought a new wardrobe. He’s gotten off easy the last 22 years because I buy “classic” clothes. (Yeah, I actually still wear some of those clothes on occasion, too.)

The cucumber diet is a result of a bumper crop of cucumbers. (I wish they had ripened last weekend, when I went to a certain super-secret internet party. I could have pawned off a few to some unsuspecting friends.)

I don’t know why my cucumbers have taken off and the tomatoes have stalled. They got the same amount of fertilizer. They get the same amount of water. They are only a few feet away.

So far, I’ve given away plenty of cucumbers to co-workers, and I’ve shipped some to my son on the Left Coast. I gave one to my violin teacher, but she lives alone now that her husband is in a nursing home, so one was too many.

I still have over a half-dozen sitting on my counter, along with some zucchini.

So today, I eat cucumbers.

They’re not fattening, are they?

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12 Responses

  1. So completely not fattening, as long as you don’t dip them. Try a little salt, it’ll make you feel more satisfied.

  2. I wish I had cucumbers. One cucumber plant died shortly after planting, and the other simply isn’t bearing, probably because the zucchini plants have taken over the entire plot.

    I’ve had a few cherry tomatoes so far. They were delicious!

  3. Also, you could make tabouli and/or a Greek salad. Both good uses for cucumbers.

  4. Oh Japanese cuke salad! Yummm. Slice paper thin, you know the drill, douse with rice vinegar and a touch of ginger, marinate for an hour and use it on everything you eat! Ooooh, wonderful on smoked salmon too.

  5. !! Zuchini! You can make stuffed zuchini–you peel ’em and hollow ’em out with the melon baller and bake them full of dolmade filling. Make a little lemon sauce. Aaaaaawwwesome….

  6. Madame Donna, I’m ahead of you there. Been there, done that. I’m thinking of branching out into tabouli and Greek salad. Maybe mix some crab meat into one.

    My zucchini is not as productive as in previous years. It’s funny how that happens. I grill mine, LFC. Grilled anything is great!

  7. If Madame Donna can’t make something palatable, there’s no hope for it. As for me, though, the only time I eat cucumbers is when they’re in sushi.

  8. Mr. Rizzuto says he has a huge zucchini growing at the garden at school. As soon as he brings it home I’ll throw it at you.

  9. You could probably make some of the cukes into natural beauty products, too – don’t they feature in eye creams etc etc? They’re probably bursting with stuff that’s good for you! 🙂

  10. I can’t eat them and gain natural beauty, Truce? 🙂

  11. I love cucumbers…I heard they were good for the elasticity of your skin. I guess this is why i see women in spas with cucumbers slices on their eyes. Frankly, I like them with lime and a pinch of salt. Just like that, nothing else.

    I also like them in sushi. I always substitute cucumbers for avaocado in my sushi. Mmmmm…

  12. Mmmm, nothing better than a cucumber fresh from the garden.

    I eat them the way Vroni does, with lime (or lemon) and salt.

    They are also excellent tossed in a salad with mint, mango, and watermelon.

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