Update on the Lazy Woman

Despite recent reports from local weathermen, rain has refused to fall out of the sky. Instead, we find our humidity clinging to every blade of grass, every dirty, disgusting muscle shirt, and every sweaty-assed landscaper. Believe me, I’ve seen plenty of all three of those things in my yard just in the last week.

When it doesn’t rain, Mr. Demonic goes crazy with the watering. He thinks it’s important to have green grass. As the grass cutter of the family, I do not think it’s important. He thinks the grass will “die.” In all of my experience at this house and others, grass does NOT die if it doesn’t get water. This is because regular lawn grass is a member of the Weed Family. It just goes into a dormancy until the next downpour.

The past week of hot and humid has made this Demonic lazy. However, since the other half has gone hog-wild with sprinkling, today I have had to drag my limp butt out of bed early this morning to mow the front yard. Even though I started at 6:45, I was a whipped, stinky, sweaty mess by 7:30.

However, you can’t tell Mr. Demonic to stop watering.

As for other Lazy Woman News, the kitchen has been largely dark. This is because Mr. Demonic is thrifty (i.e. cheap) and refuses to turn the A/C on downstairs. I can’t have both ovens going without A/C. This, in turn, has caused quite a bit of consternation over on the Left Coast, where Mr. Demonic Junior’s roommate has threatened to have the Hell’s Angels come and pay me a visit, and it doesn’t sound like a friendly one. I believe him, since the dude writes for a motorcycle magazine and a guitar magazine. He’s made it abundantly clear that chocolate chip cookies had better be forthcoming or else I would be in deep trouble.

I guess I will turn the A/C on today and bake some cookies.

I took advantage of the heat to finish another book. It’s relaxing to sit right under a ceiling fan and read. You will have to read my book page to find out which one it was.

A recent check of the weather shows more promise of rain. I won’t believe it until I see it, though.


6 Responses

  1. Mrs. Random and I are in agreement in swearing off grass. Some grows as a weed, but we are gradually eradicating it. We have five acres of woods, a few hundred feet of flowers and ground cover, a few thousand feet of vegetable garden, and quite a few rocks.

    If Random Granddaughter wants some lawn for her trains and fire trucks, we’ll negotiate.

  2. shh… (pan, tenrec’s blog is supposed to be a secret blog and now it snuck onto your web roll where it’s rolling around like a cat in heat or something).

  3. How did that happen?

  4. Because of monsoon season in Tucson, the weeds in my yard grew two feet in two weeks. Not even joking. Lush green weeds. Look like little trees and shrubberies. I know I should go and pull them out while the ground is soft, but it’s so damn hot and sticky that I can’t even consider such insanity.

  5. Promises! Promises! Bookmark this and come back to it in winter when it is raining non stop!

  6. You mean snowing non-stop.

    I’ll still be lazy. I think it’s my basic character flaw.

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