Ten Things That Are Wrong With Me

Taking a page from Mr. Random’s book, I have decided to list ten things that are wrong with me. There are likely scores more things that are wrong with me, but I’m just wasting some time right now while I wait for a lady to call me to finish up a catalog I’m doing. So I don’t have time to list the other 90, not yet, anyway.

1. I really like to spend money. This is a bad thing, especially with the current economic meltdown looming over us like a huge toxic cloud. I don’t spend money on extravagant things though. Here’s a sub-list of the things I like to spend money on:

  • Good food. I’d rather eat good food than substandard food, and I don’t mind paying for it.
  • Friends. If someone is in need, then I am a friend indeed. Ask anyone who knows me.
  • My kids. Yeah, they are hardly worth it, but I’m a typical mother. I’ll do without if it means they will have something worthwhile, but that doesn’t mean I’ll give anything up for stupid stuff. (Ask them.) I’ll spend anything, as long as it deals with their education.

2. I am a hot head. Yes, this little package (getting bigger all the time) will usually lose the top of her head at least three times a week. Usually, it has to do with employees. Occasionally, it has to do with my daughter, Ms. MiniD. Sometimes, my son catches my ire. Very rarely, my husband. Mr. Demonic knows better than to cross this lady.

3. I am lazy. That’s right, I’m lazy. There are days when I just lie in my bed and look at the ceiling fan spinning round and round, when I know I should be pulling weeds out in the garden, or adding a couple thousand words to my novel, or doing the wash. I blame this on a comfortable bedroom. Sometimes, I lie in bed and look out the window to the sky and think, “I love my bedroom!”

4. I am not musically inclined. Sure, I wish I was musically inclined. I even play the violin, although I do so quite badly. I practice, and I try to read notes, but I struggle. Music doesn’t come to me in an instant flash like it does with Mr. D Jr., and I sometimes am frustrated and pissed off about it.

5. I am not artistically inclined. See #4. This was bad, especially since I was an art major. After the second year, when I ran out of money, I came to realize that I am not especially talented when it came to painting or drawing. Or clay or intaglio. Or sculpture. So I took up other things, like sewing and jewelry. I’m not especially talented there either. Hmm…

6. I am a food snob. Yes. I am. I can’t eat at pot luck dinners, because I would have to respectfully decline food that is ill prepared, or shows little or no imagination, or is high with processed ingredients and low in freshness. I only shop at certain stores because of my food snobbishness. I know I should give those other places a try, but I find I can’t lower my standards or my expectations.

7. I am generous to a fault. I find it very peculiar that as a person (not even counting Mr. Demonic) I have donated more money, time and goods to charity than has our Democratic Vice Presidential pick, Senator Joe Biden. I know Good Time Joe makes a ton more money than the Demonic clan, too. Perhaps I should use his standard as my own. (Nah…)

8. I’m fat. A direct result of #3.

9. I probably have ADHD. Where else would Ms. MiniD get it from? (Mr. D is ADD, because he’s hyperactive all the time.) This would explain my laziness and inability to get anything done. This might also explain my inclination to NOT be artistic or musically inclined.

10. I have a rapier tongue. I didn’t say that, Mr. Demonic said that. I just think I have a razor sharp sense of humor. Actually, before him, my mother said that when I was in high school. I wrote for the school paper and had some of my editorials published in the local newspaper and in national magazines. My mother always chided me about it. “Why do you have to write where you make people mad?” If I hadn’t been that way, I couldn’t have used it for #10.

12 Responses

  1. you sound perfectly normal to me. I’m lazy too but terrified of admitting it to my close friends. Keep practising with the music and you’ll get there.

  2. I think your jewelry is lovely!

  3. 1. Me too, apparently the trick is to spend someone else’s… (not that I’ve ever done that)
    2. I’m a cool head. Much scarier. 😉
    3. I can be lazy almost anywhere, but a bedroom with a nice view and a ceiling fan would top my list.
    4. My piano teacher at school would say “Have you practiced since last week?” and I would reply “yes” and then proceed to demonstrate the completeness of this lie each week.
    5. I can draw and paint. So far it has failed to bring me the Big Bucks, so you’re probably not missing anything. Plus, your jewelry is beautiful.
    6. So am I. It never ceases to amaze me what some people will eat… and feed their kids. Yeuk.
    7. I worked for 8 years in the UK charity sector, so I tend to be extremely careful about what I donate to, for obvious reasons.
    8. No you’re not. You’re perfect.
    9. Well, its better than having Hep A.
    10. You make me laugh, so I totally agree with the razor sharp wit 🙂

  4. Not that I have Hep A, you understand.

  5. I would do this exercise, but I couldn’t possibly limit myself to just ten things.

    #10 isn’t a fault, IMO, though perhaps people on the receiving end might be inclined to think so.

  6. You sound pretty normal to me. 😉

  7. Thanks, Shawn, but try telling that to the people who know me!


  8. I don’t think these are faults. They are just what makes you YOU! I wouldn’t change any of them.

  9. This is a good idea for a topic. I think I will write a post on this theme.

  10. 1) I don’t think that’s really a bad thing; especially the food thing. Eating good food is good for you. Eating cheap crap is crappy.

    2) You’ve never been curt with me. Then again, we’re far enough away that we don’t have to drive each other crazy.

    3) Laziness is a virtue. It prevents one from doing daft things. Oh…and have you looked at my contributions to GNN lately. Heh. Who’s lazy?

    4) Music is hard. I do wish you enjoyed playing it though.

    5) LOL! I think I’m an artist now. I mean really. I think that.

    6) Umm. This could be sixty pages of email. I’m wondering if we’re clones.

    7) That’s a bad thing? I like volunteering my time to help people. It feels good. It’s fun. It’s eye opening. It makes the world a better place.

    8) I’m thinking about sausages and giggling. I don’t think you’re fat. I wanted to put in some homophone abuse there to distract you so that it would be a subliminal bit of magic and you’d be cured of this fatness delusion but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

    9) Maybe but so what? You’re charming.

    10) I’m going with the razor sharp sense of humour too.


  11. Ack. I can’t edit that typographical goof! This place drives me crazy!

  12. You invited me. I thought you liked it!

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