I Wish I Could Still Fit into My Bikini…

‘Nuff said.

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My 1970s View on Fat

Please keep in mind that I don’t harbor any prejudices for fat or thin people; these are just my observations. Many people know I’m sort of on a diet and exercise regimen (I say “sort of” because I’m really weak-willed and things can change daily-actually, now that I think about it, things can make a drastic turn by the minute…), and those who really know me think I’m being weird and patronizing. Maybe condescending, too. This is because I’m short (5’3″) and appear to be small. I say “appear” because I’m a master at hiding my fat globules. I have a drawer full of bikinis and bustiers, but you won’t see me wearing them right now. It’s been several years since they’ve seen the light of day, if you must know. These days, I’ve taken to wearing over-sized sweat shirts and loose sweaters.

I admit that I may have a skewed view on fat. My view probably originated from the late 1960s and early 1970s, when I was growing up into adulthood. Back then, we didn’t have ways to measure transfats or your body mass index, and the popular diets didn’t come into vogue until a couple of decades later. Back then, you just took a look at a person and decided they were “fat” or not.

There weren’t many fat kids in my high school, and my graduating class had over 500 kids in it. In looking over my senior year book, I would think that maybe five kids would be considered “fat.” Their level of “fatness” was not what you see these days when looking at the general population. I didn’t know anyone who was morbidly obese, for example, and I now have a woman who is morbidly obese working for me. Kids were more active in those days. For example, I never rode a school bus. I always walked to school, and it was a mile and a quarter away. I never see anyone walking around my area where I live now, especially not kids. God forbid if someone grabs one and rapes him/her before killing them. And you didn’t have to be an athlete to stay in shape. Even the stoners at my school took hikes into the mountains, where they could smoke pot in peace and enjoy Mother Nature. Back then, we also only had three channels of television, no internet and no video games. If you were a teenager with no inside diversion, you found a quick way to be out of the house.

Both my parents weren’t fat. My father, in fact, was thin most of his life. In the last 15 years, he’s put on a sizeable beer gut, but he’s still basically a normal sized man. My mother, who had six kids before the age of 43, was very short and struggled with her weight. At her hugest (which I know isn’t huge), she was a size 12, which was only noticeable because she was only 4’10’. However, at the end of her life, she had pared down the extra pounds and started playing tennis religiously. She looked pretty good, but damn that cholesterol that killed her. My father’s mother was thin as well. His sibs were thin. In fact, we were so thin that my cousins, who were “normal” sized didn’t think we were related. I was so thin, I was mocked at school. It wasn’t because I was striving to be that way. It was natural for me. I ate like a horse, as many can attest.

Which brings me to present-day me. I still love food, too much. I love fine wine with my food, too much. Yes, I’ve had two kids, but they are grown now, so I’ve had 18 years to get myself back into pre-wedding shape. Alas, it’s not going to happen. Once you birth a couple of kids, your hips move outwardly. I couldn’t fit one leg into those size 1 jeans I so proudly wore before marriage, and there’s no possible way I could get my body into my strapless wedding dress without major reconstruction of the bodice and waist area. I do want to lose enough weight (about ten pounds) to get back to where I was in 1998. I think I could achieve a goal from ten years ago.

Since realizing I have a 1970s view of fat, I am making some changes, which I hope will help with my weight loss program. I’m limiting myself to three channels, and getting out of the house more.