Centipedes…

They don’t scare me or the cat, but they sure scare the hubby and daughter…

Silly people. It’s just a bug.

Candy A@@ Men, Or The Centipede Saga

I’m unhappy to say that a contingent of monster centipedes have been storming my office this morning.

Because the building is made of cement block, it is a haven for the hundred-legged creatures. It is also damp and creepy in the basement, a perfect breeding ground for centipedes and roly-polies. Mr. Demonic, who is incredibly “thrifty,” does not believe in pest control for the office environment. This, even though he despises centipedes. Mr. Demonic’s father used to taunt the Demonic children with horror stories regarding centipedes. Among common stories are those where the centipede is rearing up on its “hind legs” and going into attack mode. (Attacking a person, not another bug.) This led to an irrational fear of them, which he has passed on to our children.

A very Healthy Grown Man who works for me grabbed me by the shoulders to place me in harm’s way between him and the centipede. He also shares an irrational fear of centipedes. My Office Girl #1 smashed that bug into smithereens. That was the second one, which at only about three inches long, was rather small. The first one was five inches long and translucently shimmery, almost like a Las Vegas showgirl centipede. Office Girl #1 tried to fell that one barehanded using only a Kleenex to protect her. The centipede slipped behind a partition in Healthy Grown Man’s cube, never to be seen (yet) again.

Healthy Grown Man was so spooked, he moved from his desk to one right around the corner from me.

I am amazed that not only Mr. Demonic, but Healthy Grown Man is scared of a small bug. They outweigh the centipede by about 180 and 250 pounds respectively. I’m ashamed to say that only Office Girl #1 and I were on the offensive.

My immediate thought was that if under attack by a foreign terrorist group (or dudes from the hood), the women in this office would be defending the lives of our candy a@@ men.