Why Didn’t They Steal The Cucumbers!?

My last post dealt with a conspicuous absence of pears.

Today’s will touch on the cucumber plants that took over the world.

I have three: two regular, and one fancy-schmancy Japanese burpless. (There are pickling cukes in the color bowls on my deck, but I’m not counting them. I made dill pickles last night with those.) These three plants have managed to inundate this family and everyone we know with cucumbers.

Here are just a few of them, if you don’t believe me:

I can’t pick them fast enough.

When I pick a half dozen in the morning, I leave with the mistaken impression that I will not have to pick again for a couple of days.


I could easily pick a half dozen in the evening too.

I don’t know what Mr. Demonic is going to do while I’m gone for a week. I have visions of returning home to cucumbers the size of small watermelons. (Speaking of watermelons, I have a couple of those too.)

All I want to know is, why didn’t they steal the cucumbers!?

A Hot Weather Update

It’s still hot.

It still hasn’t rained. They keep promising rain, but they lie. I can’t remember the last time I took my umbrella out.  Hmm… I wonder where my umbrella is?

The weeds are losing the war.

If anyone wants a cucumber (or two or three or a couple dozen), give me a call. I’ve been shipping them them to the starving artist-college student on the Left Coast, so it’s not beyond the realm of possibilities.

The tomatoes are coming along. This year they are slow, but sure. I’m sure when I’m gone for a week getting the youngest Demonic into college, they will go hog wild and Mr. D will largely ignore them.

Did I say it’s still hot? Because it’s still freakin’ hot.

The Cucumber Diet

I’m not sure it will work, but here’s trying.

I’m going on a cucumber diet.

It’s not so much to lose weight, although I could definitely lose a few pounds. Okay, ten to fifteen, that’s more than a few. [Ducking rocks from Ina and Wanda.] I especially want to lose some before I run out of clothes to wear. Mr. Demonic is already in a tizzy over my daughter’s college tuition. (She’s MY daughter when a bill is involved. Funny how that happens.) He would have a conniption if I went out and bought a new wardrobe. He’s gotten off easy the last 22 years because I buy “classic” clothes. (Yeah, I actually still wear some of those clothes on occasion, too.)

The cucumber diet is a result of a bumper crop of cucumbers. (I wish they had ripened last weekend, when I went to a certain super-secret internet party. I could have pawned off a few to some unsuspecting friends.)

I don’t know why my cucumbers have taken off and the tomatoes have stalled. They got the same amount of fertilizer. They get the same amount of water. They are only a few feet away.

So far, I’ve given away plenty of cucumbers to co-workers, and I’ve shipped some to my son on the Left Coast. I gave one to my violin teacher, but she lives alone now that her husband is in a nursing home, so one was too many.

I still have over a half-dozen sitting on my counter, along with some zucchini.

So today, I eat cucumbers.

They’re not fattening, are they?