Some Dirty Office Talk

1. The manager is ribbing one of the guys here, because he shared once that he wipes his ass while standing up. This office is four females and three males. All of us laughed. It’s not so funny, because my son also wipes his ass while standing up. His reason for doing so is because my husband used to make him stand up to do it when he was a toddler. So my son never really learned how to wipe sitting down. If that isn’t totally weird, I don’t know what is. Now the guy in the office, I don’t know why he wipes standing up, and neither does he. He thought everyone did.

2. We have another guy who works here, who is basically a gopher for my husband. We found out from another employee that once he was at a location and had to go to the bathroom. We shared the bathroom with the suite next to us. It was after hours, so he left the door open. Employee #2 walked by to find Employee #1 on the toilet with his pants around his ankles. When I bring it up, Employee #1 gets very angry and hostile. I can’t imagine why.

3. We were reminicing that one time about ten years ago, the cleaning company that was supposed to clean our office didn’t show up for a month. This was during the summer, when we are the busiest. I guess the guy had a heart attack but no one knew. Anyway, after a few weeks I noticed the bathroom smelling particularly bad. I armed myself with a lot of strong cleaning equipment and started to tackle the job. I noticed there were some bottles and vases on the back of the toilet. They were filled with liquid. When I dumped the liquid out, I realized it was urine! After that, I put a lock on the door, so now you have to have a key to use the facilities. It’s a bit of a hassle, but keeps the homeless and the teenagers out.