I’m In Love With An Old Man

I didn’t think it would ever happen to me, but it has. If you would have said this to me thirty years ago, I would have totally said “No way!” There’s no way I’d be in love with an old man. And no, it’s not Richard Gere… (Sheesh! I just mention he’s hotter now than before and I get pelted with “oh, she loves Richard!” na nee na nee naaaa neeee…)

My “old man” is my husband. And I’m still in love with him.

I wasn’t aware of how old he’d gotten until I looked at him sleeping on Saturday night. I couldn’t sleep, and he was out like the proverbial light, snoring up a storm.

I couldn’t roll him over, because he’s too big. It’s not polite to poke, so I just looked at him in the light of the TV screen. My husband is about nine months younger than me, but his hair is now almost completely gray. While I sometimes color mine, I sometimes go months without, so I know I have a few gray strands, but nothing more. Gray hair must be the result of the high-stress worry of owning your own business. (I don’t know why mine is still brown.) His hairline is receding a bit now, too. This is scary to me, because his father was bald by the time he was 60. Don’t say this in front of him, but my husband and his father look very much the same. If the loss of hair is any indication, my husband will be bald soon enough. I am not too sure about being in love with a bald man, but I guess I should never say “never.”

I also noticed he’s got a lot of wrinkling going around his eyes. I hadn’t noticed it much before. He golfs a lot, so it’s probably from sun damage. He doesn’t smoke, except for the occasional cigar on the golf course, so it’s not tobacco that is contributing to his wrinkles. I don’t think they are happy wrinkles either, not like the ones Santa Claus has. These are stress-related wrinkles.

My husband also has the little paunchy stomach thing going on. This, even though he exercises an hour and a half every day. Of course, I have a paunchy stomach too, but I’m blaming mine on food. Also, drinking wine with dinner doesn’t help if you want to maintain a slim physique.

I remember growing up back in the late 60s and early 70s. People would call their significant others “old men” or “old ladies.” That’s probably because a lot of young people weren’t married but just shacking up (a colloquialism for cohabitation). “Hey, man, I gotta check with my old lady, man.” My dad called my mother that, not when she was in earshot, of course. Sometimes people would call their parents “old man” and “old lady.” It was a term of endearment, a nicer way of saying you were shackled to the old ball and chain.

Now my darling handsome husband no longer has a thick brown mane of hair and is slightly wrinkled and paunchy. However, he’s still really good looking. Unlike Richard Gere, I don’t know that his looks actually improved with age. When he was younger, he had a way about his walk (probably because he is tall and thin) and a nice small rear end. He  had a friendly smile and could look at me like he could see clear through  my soul to the other side of the room.

My husband is still very good looking, but in a different way. He looks more mature and wise, instead of young and wise-cracking.

It’s something you could only notice in the middle of the night.

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Men I Would Totally Sleep With… or Not

This post is brought to you because of  this post, which was the direct result of this one.

Perhaps I am old-fashioned, or maybe just plain boring. The only man I would totally sleep with would be my husband.

I’ve often said that if anything should happen to him, that is it for me. There’ll be no other long-term relationships. No marriages, no boyfriends. Nosiree Bob. I spent a good twenty years getting this one into shape, and some days I’m not sure if it was worth all the hard work and effort. Oh, I love him, very deeply, but I don’t see that kind of love happening again. This marriage is a once-in-a-lifetime deal for me.

This is not to say that I don’t think some other men are appealing. Take Bobby Goat Gruff (My Internet Boyfriend), or whatever moniker he is going by this week. This guy can be extremely funny. Humor is very important in my world. And that’s not all. When MIB and I are discussing deeper topics, I feel that he can see right into my soul. This is very comforting. However, I don’t have any inclination to have sex with him. Although the thought of really sleeping in the bed with him and his sweetie is a tantalizing thought. I’d bring the down comforter, the flannel jammies and matching flannel sheets. We could eat popcorn in bed and tell ghost stories. It would be just like a slumber party for adults!

Just because I’m satisfied at home doesn’t mean that I don’t think some men aren’t attractive. Take Richard Gere now. Richard Gere back in the day when he was An Officer and a Gentleman-NO. Yes, Mr. Gere has aged very well. He is eye-candy of the Godiva kind for this woman. I’ve often said that Adam Sandler would be my perfect dream date. True, he’s goofy looking, but again, I would be looking for a funny collaboration. Also, I’ve never dated a Jewish boy. This would kill two birds with one stone.

My fascination of the day is Stephen Colbert. He’s ridiculously funny, and not bad looking too. I’m a sucker for a guy in a tie. Plus, he could be the President. We all know how being in the Oval Office can charm the panties off some gals.