Plans to Help Wanda Snag Orlando Hit Minor Glitch(es)

Well, after a volley of email between me and the infamous Wanda Rizzuto (, I have (on the back burner) plans to help my BIGF (Best Internet Girl Friend) somehow attract the attention of the great Orlando Bloom.

Unfortunately, my life has been dealt a few minor blows. One of them is the arrival of snow and cold. I despise snow and cold more than the normal person, and when winter comes to town, I get all cranky. My panties are in a twist over the fact that now there is a half inch of ice on my driveway. If there’s one thing I despise more than winter, it’s wearing sensible shoes and walking baby steps to my car. Besides, for part of my Wanda-Orlando Love Match, I need fair weather, and there’s none in the foreseeable future.

I’m also tied up with work, my second job (which my husband calls my money-losing proposition), and trying to get my daughter into college. My son is yelling at me in emails asking (demanding) that I make a copy of a CD of his performance last spring. This is because he’s too cheap to pay $20 for a copy from the school.

This post is to apologize to Wanda. I really have to get on the Orlando case before the Fey Boy flies off to Jolly Old England. Her days of trolling for him on the streets of the Big Apple can be counted on fingers and toes. I really want to be the one responsible for the coup that will be heretofore known (in a book by the same name) “Snagging Orly.” To be followed (sorry Mr. R) by the sequel “Shagging Orly.”

The shameless hussy. Not you, Wanda – no, it’s Orlando. 🙂