Fat Globules

I have them.

Oh, yes, indeed I do.

Some people who have seen me in real life think I look better than I really do. There are two trains of thought that follow this track. One, they are just being nice to me. Two, they are blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other.

Last night, after a hard day’s work and the mowing of two lawns (one at the house and a smaller one at the office), I didn’t feel like cooking. I felt like sushi. I have bad wrists and my sushi sucks. I was hoping to be wined and dined at my favorite Japanese restaurant.

Mr. Demonic would have rather had something at home, but he agreed to meet me there. He had been riding his Harley all day and had that helmet head look going on. My Favorite Japanese Restaurant is nice, but it’s not that nice. Besides, Koji, the owner, knows me from before when his dad owned the place. He wouldn’t care what we looked like.

I was hot and sweaty after my grass-cutting expedition, so I took a shower. Then I attempted to don a cool top and jeans.

I was amazed to find out that all my cool tank tops are too small! These include some very nice ones that I had purchased at the end of last summer and had never worn. These included some that were not form fitting, but were rather loose.

They are now unfortunately all tight! I checked myself out in the mirror. Sure enough, I was all fatty and globulely.

I decided that after my sushi dinner, I was going to reform. So this morning I did ten minutes of yoga with the pretzel dude on the Oxygen Channel’s “Inhale” Show. (That guy is a total yoga nutcase.) I would have done more, but I was afraid I was going to have a heart attack.

I’m going to eat fish and veggies for dinner, no cake.

Then I’m going to jump on my dusty elliptical machine and go until I pass out.

Globules! YUCK!

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Tumbling: Don’t Try This At Home Without a Spotter If You’re My Age

Last night I was working on various writing projects, and IMing the IB (Internet Boyfriend) late into the night. (It’s not what you think. MIB and I have a joint online venture that we’re trying to remove the bugs from. There’s no romance involved, unless you call being enamored of our project a romance.) The reason for working at home is that I have another life during the day time. It’s a business life, and it’s a busy life. Writing is my recreation, and while I try to do it at work (sometimes without much success), I can really only concentrate if I’m sitting in my perfect purple chair, which is in my bedroom. It’s hard to concentrate with the phone ringing all day. No one calls me at home, except telemarketers. I have caller ID so I choose not to answer those calls.

After spending five hours typing, the perfect purple chair was not feeling quite so perfect. In fact, I was beginning to feel a serious issue with my back and neck. While MIB was chatting away, I put my laptop down on the floor and stretched out. Doing this helped a bit, but not much.

It was 1 a.m., and my daughter was cleaning her room and making a terrible noise. So I got up (without MIB knowing) to survey her progress. It was very positive! I was impressed. It was also helpful to move about. My back felt much better.

When I returned to my laptop, I realized that the article I was working on for another forum had suddenly disappeared. It was a huge article, with lots of links to other things. I was angry. I was almost despondent. I was really tired. But, this is what happens when you use the web based publishing tools of various sites. I neglected to save it as a Word document. It was my fault. Even though I was bleary-eyed, I managed to reconstruct the article much as originally written. In fact, dare I say it? It may have been better than the original.

By 2:30, my fingers started to do their own thing, and it was hard to keep up with a IM conversation and type an article at the same time. Besides, my back was now killing me. So I said good night to MIB and thought I would lay prone on the floor again before going to bed.

While I was doing so, I decided to do some up dogs and down dogs, otherwise known as baby yoga. This usually helps, but not early this morning. What I really wanted to do was flip all the way over. I started rocking backward in an attempt to flip over, but found that I couldn’t get my legs to cooperate! My muscles felt like they didn’t belong to me, and my stomach had gotten into the way. Damn! What had happened to me? This used to be an easy task for me!

By the third attempt, I was annoyed. I wanted to flip over, damn it!

After getting up this morning (I overslept because I only got three hours of sleep), I decided to clear a spot downstairs and try again. Since I couldn’t seem to complete the task by flipping my legs over my head, I thought I would try it the other way. You know, by doing a somersault, head first.

This method worked. Somehow, I made it all the way over, even though I nearly lost consciousness.

I guess I should have had a spotter.